Showing posts with label needs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label needs. Show all posts

Monday, April 25, 2011

a sense of sexual urgency

Some months come and go without my period even making a dent in my life. This is kind of nice, I guess, as I know plenty of women who seem to barely survive the monthly symptoms that have been duly named the curse.

So I go bumpity bump along at a pretty normal pace with no incapacitating pain or vicious moods or bloated belly. I am really grateful for that. But what does affect me every few cycles is an unsatiable appetite for sex and emotional attachment.

It happens during ovulation and this month it hit me like a tidal wave. I could not stop thinking about Andy--about my body being naked next to his under the sheets, going down on him in the middle of the night (or any time of day), having him explore me inside and out, fucking without a condom, the musky smell of him, tasting sex on him, looking into his eyes, hearing him tell me how much he loves me, talking about forever things, dreaming about Santorini and Paris with him, omg the list goes on...

Feeling these strong urges, I fantasized about them with Andy on Skype and I grew closer to him by the minute. All this made me realize that Mother Nature is working her magic through this thing called ovulation. Procreate! Procreate! she screams. These crazy feelings are exactly how women end up pregnant! (well, after fucking without a condom) And I would def be sooo tempted to act on my impulses if I were in the same room/house/state as Andy.

I breathed a big sigh of relief when this 3 day ovulation cycle ended. Of course, with 2,500 miles between us I did not get knocked up. Next month, and perhaps every month for the rest of my life, what am I gonna do?

I have to find some other reliable method to keep us from being parents again. Because we plan to be fucking like rabbits for a long time. As it stands now I am sure to be jumping his bones with reckless abandon on a regular basis. These feelings are just too damn delicious to deny...

Monday, November 16, 2009

what i need in a man


I gave Andy a task today. I asked him to give some thought to what he needs in a relationship. He has never voiced any of his needs, only his wants and dreams and lots of beautiful imaginary visions of us together. Which is wonderful, but...

Lately I have wondered if he really knows what he wants out of a relationship, or if he ever gives it any thought. So I asked him to get back to me on it. And I told him I'd do the same for him. At the very least it will help speed up this getting-to-know-you stage.

All day long I've been trying to encapsulate what it is that I want in a partner into a few simple words. Not so easy. But I'll give it a whirl here in blogland.

What I need in a partner:
  • someone who can go deep with me - emotionally, mentally, spiritually - and challenge me
  • someone who has a genuine interest in finding out who I really am
  • honesty with a constant desire to keep it real between us
  • to be adored
  • a protector - stick up for me, hold me during scary movies, give me a kidney, whatever
  • a kind, open-minded, upbeat, non-judgmental person
  • a great lover who can be sweet, strong and an insatiable animal all in the same night
  • someone who loves to touch me
  • respectful of me and others
  • loyal and dedicated to family, and to me
  • someone who has had children
  • accepting of my children
  • non-smoker, in fact, not addicted to anything except me
  • trusting enough to open up to me
  • a confident man, but humble and imperfect
  • dependable and responsible
  • good sense of humor!
  • healthy lifestyle
  • someone with passion and a purpose
  • someone I can learn from and grow with

And here are a few things that are extremely nice to have in a partner:

  • good to look at
  • common interests
  • quality time together
  • unjaded, able to love and trust freely
  • money
  • living close, or better yet, together
  • someone as clean as I am
  • intelligence
  • patience
  • a handy guy who will look out for me and my car/furnace/plumbing
  • someone with good taste
  • great communicator
  • someone who knows me better than I know myself