going over the rainbow

I couldn't help but think of Rob every time I listened to this Amos Lee song. These lyrics in particular speak of our relationship and all he's had to accept in the last couple years. To love me and toknow he has to let me go because he loves me.

I'm in love with a girl,
Who's in love with the world,
Though I can't help but follow.
Though I know some day,
She is bound to go away,
And stay over the rainbow.
Gotta learn how to let her go.
Over the rainbow.

Sometimes we forget who we got,
Who they are
Or who they are not.
There is so much more in love,
Than black and white.
Keep it loose child,
Gotta keep it tight.
Keep it loose child,
Keep it tight.

last chance to love

Some people are better than others at doing the tough stuff. They're the ones who are always there to help, whether it be a little old lady trying to cross the street, organizing a fundraiser, rescuing someone in trouble, joining the services to fight for their country, or support a friend in their last days on earth.

No task seems too gruelling for these extraordinary individuals. They think nothing of putting their time, their energy, their emotion, even their lives on the line, for the benefit of others.

I have such a friend. He is forever helping. He is a former Marine, father of four, grandfather of four (so far), and a truly inspirational and loving soul. He lives a simple life, unencumbered by the need to succeed at a career, but the man has riches beyond what most of us will ever have. It certainly may never have been our purpose, but it's clearly his. He is an angel on earth.

Today he posted a photo on Facebook that made me cry. It's a photo of him at the bedside of his dying cousin. My 6'4" burly and bearded friend was photographed embracing the fragile emaciated body of his cancer-stricken cousin and lifelong buddy. The smaller one is resting his head in my friend's strong arm. They both have their eyes closed with smiles that appear somewhat defeated, yet peaceful.

I am moved to tears just about every time I think about it today. I can feel the gratitude of the dying man to have the love, care and comfort of his strong, healthy cousin. Just being there must mean everything to him. To know someone cares that much. To not be alone when it counts most. To help someone pass must be one of the most difficult and emotional experiences of a lifetime. But perhaps it can be a beautiful thing too. Especially if it's peaceful and painless.

We can only hope that we each have our own angel by our side to help ease our passing. I know that that is important to me. And I would like to help all the people I love in the same way. It's the ultimate final gift, wouldn't you say?

last chance to love

My sister Lynn skyped me the other night. She was crying. She'd taken her 12 yr old cat to the vet and was told he had only days to live.

Butch had a heart condition that was making it difficult for him to catch his breath or have any energy at all. He'd been eating, but losing weight for months. Lynn was overwhelmed with worry, sadness, and guilt. Guilt for not having taken him to the vet sooner, for having complained about having a cat, and for not giving him attention when he wanted it.

Guilt is such a waste of energy. I tried to get her to focus on what she had done right, and what she should do now. It was too late to save him, fix him, nurse him back to health. Butch was on his way home. I had hoped she would spend her last days loving him as best she could...telling him happy things about where he's going, wishing him a peaceful journey.

Easy for me to say, he wasn't my cat.

I didn't hear from Lynn for the next couple days. When I finally tried to reach her again, she didn't answer her phone. Finally I called my mom and got the word that Butch had died just that morning. I saw Lynn today. She is now going through the grieving process and she will be ok. But I did hear her relate how she sat with him a lot over his last full day and talked to him and reassured him that it was ok to go. Even in his suffering he purred as if to say I love you back. An animal's final act of selfless love.