Showing posts with label lost in love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lost in love. Show all posts

Monday, September 6, 2010

a la paradise


On our first night, Andy and I bought some incredibly cheap wine. Well, really it was great wine--Woodbridge Cabernet--but so cheap in California compared to back East.

I'd just taken a shower since I'd opted to skip one at 4:45 in the morning, having to leave for the airport at that God forsaken hour. So, all fresh and clean and comfy in my pj bottoms and tank top, I cracked open the bottle of red and poured it into one of his drinking glasses with a cow on it (nope, not a wine glass to be seen in that bachelor pad). What the hell, I was on vacation, therefore nothing was worth sweating over.

We sat on the bench out front of his building and I marvelled at the tall palms above us, and the crop of bamboo growing behind us. Whaaa? Bamboo? I was anxiously awaiting pandas to come for a feeding. No pandas, just Andy, and he's just as squeezable. I love California! I loved that wine!

We drank. We flirted. We exchanged adoring looks till it got dark. Hey, let's go for a walk he said. He took my hand and we walked up a block to Santa Monica Blvd. Around the corner and he led me into a world I'd never seen before. The city was alive.

It was a beautiful balmy night, but just chilly enough to make me aware of my nipples. Hell, I was practically naked. No undies, just one thin layer between my goosebumps and the night air. It felt sweet, like newfound freedom. Walking in pyjamas is not the strangest thing one would see on Santa Monica Blvd. No one gave me a second look. Except Andy, of course.

Most interesting were the displays in store windows; mannequins made of cork, and chains, a few gay sex shops, but tasteful, and amazing furniture stores. Mouth-watering smells wafted out of sidewalk cafes, blaring horns sounded like symphonies and couples in love paused at corners, kissing.

We were one of them. What a perfect opening night. We went home and Andy and I made love in his bed for the first time.


Thursday, February 18, 2010

freefall


A great poet once wrote:
the only way to really know a city is to get lost in it.

That's fair, but can the same be said for love?

I say yes. If you truly want to know the depths of love, you must throw caution to the wind and dive right in. Let yourself freefall into the unknown. Let it envelop you and permeate you. Leave all fear behind and let the love form who you are.

Rob came to me last night. Here's a man who has all the reason in the world to fear loving me. I have already voiced my wishes to experience something other than what he can give me. He knows I love somebody else. He also knows I will likely leave the area in the coming year. But instead of focusing on his fear of losing me in the future, he is choosing to love me in the present.

This takes an incredible amount of faith, and love. In fact, I'd call it unconditional love. It's something I thought I'd never get from Rob.

We were making love. It was very passionate and emotional. At one point he looked into my eyes and said I am just falling into you. I told him please do, I'll hold you. He broke down and wept as he reached climax. He spilled into me emotionally, physically and spiritually.

God was watching, and smiling, as His children loved each other.