security blanket

Andy will be here in less than a week.

Rob and I just had a weekend filled with that 'can't get enough' kind of sex. We, or I should say I, felt compelled to open up emotionally too, and in doing so Rob and I got closer again.

Needless to say I feel somewhat conflicted when this happens, loving 2 men at the same time. Rob understands that I have chosen to pursue a future with Andy and he accepts that. And I am excited about the prospect of being with Andy. Yet I can't seem to stop seeing Rob. Even when he's given me the freedom to end our relationship at any time without guilt or anger.

I feel like a fool. I do pretty well without him for about a week. Then I crave his body and the feelings he brings me. I also miss talking to my best friend. Rob is like my blankie. His dick is my pacifier.

However, I am not panicking in my confusion. I am allowing time to let life unfold. I may not understand it all now, but much later I will look back on this whole experience and see the perfect order of things.