Scared, that's me. Or is it conservative? Whatever I am, I know that it holds me back. I have a habit of being too cautious in work, in relationships, in adventure. In fact, I stick with the known so long that I get numb. And time passes.Despite nudges from others, frustration with current conditions, even in the face of divine messages, here I sit inspired by all I can imagine, but afraid to move.
I recently asked myself What's bigger, your dreams or your fears? I know my dreams are big. They consume a lot of my time. I can easily get lost in my dreams as they involve all the things I crave--true love, inspiration, fulfillment, joy. I even feel like these things are achievable. They are dangling right in front of me. I know they are waiting for me if I'd only make the leap.
That damn F word stops me. Fear of losing what I have. I hate the thought of moving backwards or losing what I've already attained (a comfortable love, steady income, savings, my children's happiness). These are the reasons I stay put. So I just keep running on the wheel, but really I'm not getting anywhere. I am maintaining my life. But it doesn't feel like enough.
More time passes. I am angry at myself for settling when I know there's something huge just waiting for me.
