a little peace

I have a few simple things to say.

Working is great. I have purpose. I am learning. I am impressing the people who observe me in my work. I am getting paid. I feel good about me.

I cleared the air with Andy. One night it all came gushing forth. I said what I needed to say without being hurtful. It seems we were both hiding a lot of the same feelings. I immediately felt closer to him. All resentment has disappeared. I now look forward to spending time with him instead of looking for other things I *have to do*. Quite a little miracle, this communication thing.

Lovvvvvvving the dogs. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I volunteer at the animal shelter. Not only do I love choosing lonely or scared dogs to nurture, but I love helping match a dog to someone who's looking for a new four legged friend. I am really good at it and I cannot describe how amazing it feels each time I get one more dog out of that place and into a loving home.

Now that I have my finances and relationship under control, I have only one area of concern. Christie, my 16 year old daughter. She hasn't been too happy or healthy since December. I am not sure how much of her current state is due to the fact that she is being a teenager and how much is a result of moving her 2,000 miles away from the life she used to know. One thing I am sure of, though--I have done, and continue to do, everything I can to help her.

Christie will be going back home to stay with her dad and my older daughter Maria for about 6 weeks this summer. This will probably reveal some things. I just don't want a health crisis like we had on out Christmas trip back home. Friggin' nightmare. I truly hope she realizes what she wants and needs, and finds some direction. I miss the old Christie :(

ANYWAY...it appears my life is back on track. I am finding a little peace at last. Maybe Christie will find her way soon. I'll be patient. God hasn't let me down yet.

Happy endings required.

better than a paycheck

The photo shoot was a whopping success. I'm not only talking about the 12 new shots we mastered. Or the two days spent in a little paradise retreat in the middle of nowhere. Or the unseasonally warm temperatures that allowed us to take a stroll in the sunshine between shots. Or the fine cuisine we were served (I've never before seen a dinner bill for $450--thank God I didn't have to pay). Or the breathtaking views wherever we looked. Or the camaraderie of a fabulous photo crew and models who are both skilled professionals and incredibly fun people. Or the many laughs we shared. Or the 2+ days out of the office. Or the break from the kids and dog.

I'm talking about the gift I was left with when it was all over...an infusion of renewed energy for my work, my life, the future. Goodbye winter, hello spring! Bring it on.

why i love my job

I don't know about you, but I like a lot of variety in life, and my job is no exception. Some would consider it pure hell to be juggling 30 projects at once, but I sort of thrive on it.

To preserve my anonymity (and my need to be able to freely express my every thought and feeling) I'm not going to reveal what I do for a living or for whom. However, I can say that I am occasionally involved with photo shoots. And this is my favorite part of the job.

Tonight my company sent me off to a beautiful place to spend the night, the day before a 2-day shoot was to begin. I had asked Rob to join me, but he declined as he didn't want to miss work :( So I drove there alone.

As soon as I arrived at this beautiful place, I knew Rob had made a bad choice. I checked in and walked up to my room only to find that they had given me a room with a balcony overlooking a gorgeous waterfall. Nature Boy would have loved it even more than I. I immediately missed him. Especially because I had given up one of my 3 nights a week allotted for him to take this trip.

Making the best of it, I decided to take a long hot bath. I was struck by how clean the bathroom was for such an old building. And the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door caught my eye. This provided a view of my naked body that I hadn't been privy to since I moved out of my last house. I thought of all sorts of fun things Rob and I could be doing in this bathroom. But no, I was alone.

I crawled into the bed and was tickled at how comfy the sheets and pillows were. Very yummy. Again, to be experienced alone. I settled in for a good night's sleep to the sound of the rushing water outside my room. Hope I don't wet the bed.