my top 10 of 2010

It's time for my top 10 moments of 2010. I love this part of the year. It's like being a kid on Halloween night. You know, when you dump the heaping bag of candy onto the livingroom floor, and say holy shit! Here I lay out all the gifts I've received. I look at them and just marvel at the blessings the year brought. Here goes...

#10 - Reconnecting with my old friend and mentor Wendy. What a fabulous summer party at a waterfront mansion. Aside from the glam venue, free-flowing wine and food, she made me feel good about myself again when I really needed it.

#9 - More blog action. Not only did I collect a few more followers, but they started talking to me. Love you guys. Blogging is therapy for me. And yours are quite entertaining.

#8 - My witch of a boss finally mellowed after 2 years. She now treats me with respect and I don't dread going into her office. Why the change? She went for life coaching after breaking up with her fiance. She came out a different person. Thank you, God!

#7 - Making my dad happy. Seeing him smile, inspiring him.

#6 - Feeling the joy of watching Andy paint, feeling his joy of painting. A preview to our life together.

#5 - The night Andy first told me I was 'such a good girl'. Oh man, that was one dirty night of sex. He now has a fetish for that black skirt.

#4 - Taking Christie to LA. Being able to take my daughter on a trip like this meant a lot to me. As a single mother struggling to make ends meet, how terrific it felt to fly us across the country to be in the same town where her beloved Jonas Brothers live, see the Pacific Ocean, Hollywood, palm trees. It was perfect. Pat on the back for Mom.

#3 - The moment when I knew. After a year of waffling between Rob and Andy (sometimes on a daily basis), I was finally able to decide with certainty which guy I wanted to spend my life with. And strangely enough I committed myself to him in a Target parking lot. Since that day I've never looked back. :D

#2 - Walking down Santa Monica Blvd. in my pyjamas. The first night of vacation anywhere is usually pretty magical. You're high on adrenaline from having arrived safely, you've escaped the daily grind, and you're at the beginning of a week of good times. This night was phenomenal. It spelled freedom. I remember the overwhelming feeling of I have arrived as I found myself discovering a great city, hand in hand with a great man.

#1 - Top honors go to the night that Christie and I went to see Jonny Lang. A hot summer night, an outdoor concert next to the water, one of my favorite musicians ever. These are the ingredients of an awesome night. But what sent it over the top was seeing Christie fall for Jonny (and his guitar) as much as I did. We connected in a new way, she saw a different side of me that she respected , maybe even admired, and I truly felt like I'd done a good thing. Not to mention that I TOUCHED him...holy shit. I'm still wowing over that one.

in the catbird seat

Things are happening! I'm in a really good place right now. The most recent stress of my online course is coming to an end, plus I'll be acing the course which also makes me happy pappy. Yesterday I finished almost all of my Christmas shopping. My divorce is well underway--I should be able to file all the paperwork with the court late next week AND my ex has agreed to pay for it. Andy is recovering nicely from the trauma of his mugging last week. He got a lead on a great building with a bunch of 2 bedroom apartments available...in our price range and in a great location at the base of the Hollywood Hills. And I made contact this week with 3 possible schools for Christie and already have 2 appointments set to meet with counselors when I go there in January. I love when my hard work pays off.

:P !!!

falling for Andy

How is it that someone who hardly knows me can know my heart so well? Did I attract the perfect match? Is the romantic pop artist just using his talents on me? Was I the object of his art all along? Or is it that he and I both have the same beautiful dream and desire to express it?

How is it that he says all the things I've longed to hear from a man my whole life? No one has ever spoken to me this way. No one has ever exposed himself or given himself to me in this way. With no fear, only hope. And all this practically right from the start. Or restart I should say.

Andy and I dated for a mere month 29 years ago, then completely lost touch until Facebook reunited us in about June. We saw each other in person on August 1st when he came back to our hometown for a visit. We spent about 8 hours together and it hasn't been the same since. Except we live on opposite sides of the country. We talk every couple days, email and Facebook chat almost daily. He excites me mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I love who he is and what he does and how he feels about me.

HE INSPIRES ME. He completely melts me and makes me feel like God's most beautiful creature. His words to me:

what's mine is yours

i'd like to wake up and see your face every day of my life

you are more than perfect

i am so excited about us

He called me at work this morning and the first thing he said was Good morning Darlin. Did anyone tell you how beautiful you are today? His voice smiles at me and I can picture his face and adoring eyes. I couldn't stop thinking of him the rest of the day. I was elated from the inside out, from head to toe. I drove home from work and felt so happy that when a sad song came on the radio, it just didn't make any sense.

This is all very strange coming so fast and hard. Admittedly I've been swept off my feet and I'm enjoying the ride, floating in Andy.

another important day

Maria's high school graduation arrived. She was beaming. I even suspected that she was proud of herself which is something that doesn't happen too often. Good for her, she deserves it. The moment suddenly seemed so real seeing her in her cap and gown. I was a proud mom. I was glad to be there. I was even happier that she had invited me to be there and I didn't have to sneak in uninvited.

The ceremony was long (2 1/2 hrs), but it was made more interesting by the emcee who had recited a message from each of the graduates. Those few words filled the time that it took for each of them to walk across the stage until the next name was called. Plus we got to hear a little bit about each kid. At the end of the ceremony, the valedictorian's speech was so heartfelt, relevant, funny and so well-delivered that I found it hard to believe that that girl was only 17 years old. Absolutely amazing.

We saw Maria before the graduation began. (I took Christie, my mother and my niece.) Maria hugged everyone in the family hello except me. She did pose for pictures with me which made me happy. At the end of the night she hugged everyone goodbye except me. Sad. Oh well, can't change the relationship overnight.

That was a bit of a letdown, but overall, I'm happy that I got to share that moment in her life.

why can't all days be like this?

Did you ever have one of those days where things start great and just keep getting better? Yesterday I had one of those days.

I woke up feeling unusually well-rested (I'd slept alone so I didn't have the usual sore neck nor was I sleep deprived from Rob's snoring). The foggy morning was breaking way to sunshine and so I took the scenic route through the hills to work. I didn't care if I was late.

Not long after I got to work did a new calendar appear on my desk--my favorite kind--the little ones that stand on your desk and the pages flip over. It may sound trivial to you, but I am heavily dependent on this calendar to keep my life and work straight. I'd been fretting about "life after June 30th" as if my life would end with the calendar page. And then it appeared--my new lease on life.

I know, even I admit I am strange when a calendar makes me happy.

But it was that kind of day. Maybe my stars were aligned. Things went well at work. I made a lot of phone calls that paid off, you could say. And at the end of the day I had arranged to meet my photographer friend and his girlfriend for a drink. They were in town visiting, staying near where I work.

We met on a gorgeous patio overlooking the waterfront. The weather couldn't have been more perfect. Sunny and warm, but not too hot to sit in the sun and DRINK for an hour or so. As usual, our mutual energy was in tune. We had great conversation, lots of laughs, and while he drank martinis, and his chick drank chick-drinks, I had a sultry glass of one of my favorite wines, baco noir.

As I was driving in home in a slight haze, big smile on my face and feeling absolutely high on life, I realized that I always feel really good after talking to this photographer friend, or being in his company. Some people just rub you the right way. It's one of the magical gifts of life. I thank him for being my friend.