the housebitch

OK, so I've been using my voice now that I found it. I'm trying to ask for what I need, express my feelings and just plain speak more--my goal was to use at least 2-3x the words that I used to. The problem I now face is that I hear myself sounding like a bitch. I seem to be speaking a lot about what needs to be done next in the home. Which makes me sound like a mother.

And although I am a mother, I'm not Andy's mother. And I do NOT want to sound like a nag. But why does no one see all these things that need to be done? As I see it, this leaves me with these alternatives:

1. Do it myself. Yes, frankly I do it best anyway, but what does that teach anyone? That they can continue to leave it to me. No thanks. I feel taken advantage of. Besides, if I just do it myself I will resent it. And we all know that resentment leads to a lot less fun in the bedroom.



2. Let it go. This works temporarily in the case of sneakers in the middle of the floor. Granted there are times when Andy trips over them and then moves them himself. But then there's the case of the closet in which clothes get tossed up onto the shelf. Over a period of time this grows into a pre-avalanche state. Or if no one goes to get groceries, we eat cereal for dinner and my kid eventually dies of malnutrition.



3. Ask for help. No matter how I do this, I hear myself as boss. Why do I have direct my housemates in what needs to be done? The frustrating part is that I shouldn't have to ask (the obvious). I shouldn't have to ask for the same things week after week. Can't everybody just put their dishes in the dishwasher, or run it when it is full? Or think about what dinner will be? I shouldn't be so hesitant to ask when others are quick to ask me to get/do something for them as they lay on the couch/bed because I am up anyway. Yes, because I am always up doing the things that need to be done! This annoys me and makes me feel like a servant. And then I feel guilty when I don't carry out the favor. Hmmph.



4. Leave. I could leave the house for hours and just let them fend for themselves. It's because when I am there I am the superhuman solver of all problems/inconveniences in the home that I end up doing too much. I have to find a way to stop. Ideally I'd like to start working in a great job where sneakers in the middle of the floor at home are the last things on my mind. They'd be better off without me (at home), and I think I'd be better off mentally. But until that job and I get hooked up, I have this little issue to deal with. Or better said, they have me to deal with.
   
   I feel the bitch in me just a-brewing. I need the cure.