At risk of sounding like a chronic complainer I am going to declare that this was the most non-Christmasy, non-joy-filled holiday my family has ever had. Even though Christie and I flew home for Christmas as an attempt at some degree of normalcy, it was not normal at all. And it's probably all my fault. Except for the fact that there was no snow. That clearly is not my fault.
I do take the blame for the holiday breakdown though, cuz I'm the one who chose to move far away. My daughter Christie was keen on the idea of moving to Los Angeles up until 2 months before our move date when she happened to fall in love with a boy. Now she feels stuck in LA, stressed and lonely for her friends.
I believe this stress has caused her health to suffer. She had strep in early December. By the time we flew back east she was fine. Three days later, while on vacation back home, I had to take her to the hospital. The strep had returned with a vengeance and her throat was so swollen she needed immediate meds by IV to ensure her airways stayed clear.
Running back and forth to the hospital and dealing with a pretty sick kid put a real damper on the rest of the family too--both sides. My older daughter Maria was a big help logistically, but fell short on the TLC factor and stressed her sister out worse. I got more flack from the asshole ex. My mom was concerned about both Christie and me (this is what moms do) and just wanted to take away everyone's suffering.
There were some gems buried beneath the Christmas rubble, however. I spent one day back in the old neighborhood where I saw 4 girlfriends, visited my naturopath who stocked me up with remedies and reassurance, and then had a Thai dinner, drinks and mucho comfort from my old love and bestest friend Rob. Also, spending some time taking care of Mom and a little with my sis and my dad. I did my family deeds. But it still doesn't feel like enough. Maybe next Christmas I'll get it right.
No comments:
Post a Comment