sacred space

Space is essential to getting in touch with yourself. I need space to find my peace. There is little peace within our apartment, unless I go into the bathroom, shut the door and run bath water. There I can be alone and uninterrupted in my thoughts.

Today I found peace on a walk in the neighbourhood, weaving in and out of the side streets. What I love most about these streets, besides the fact that they are quieter than the high-traffic, siren-blaring city street that we live on, is that I can get deeper into my head and go places that feel good and right to me.

I experimented today on my walk. I decided to see how far I could go mentally while fantasizing about a ‘perfect life’. My hope was to raise my mental and emotional state to a level that would attract all great things to me. I know these things are waiting for me, but I need to achieve and maintain a higher level of being in order to bring them to me faster. So this is how it went…

I imagined going to a job that I loved, in a place that I admired, doing work that was meaningful and rewarding, working with people who were fun, smart and kind, producing great things, having awesome conversations with my coworkers and all business associates, eating fabulous lunches, wearing great clothes, and basically, enjoying every minute that I spend there.

Then I’d have a pleasant drive home in a gorgeous car which was always clean, and arrive at my home sweet home on a peaceful street lined with cute houses with pretty gardens, white fences or regal gates, and lovely trees with lots of chirping birds.

I’d come home to loved ones who’d had a marvellous day themselves, including my easygoing maintenance-free pets. A heavenly smell would be wafting from the kitchen and we’d soon be sitting down to dinner, but not until we shared a glass of wine. The sun was always shining and lighting up the inside of our house, windows open, but warm floors, and fresh flowers in vases.

Dinner is amazing especially because I didn’t have to cook it myself. We talk, share stories and laugh. After clearing the table we go for a walk, or I putter in the garden with my companion 2^nd glass of wine in hand. The singing of the birds fades as the sun sinks in the sky. My garden patio is my Eden.

I go to sleep with the satisfaction of today behind me and the excitement of tomorrow ahead. When I wake, the sun is always there to invite me into the day. I am up earlier than everyone else, even my neighbors. My world is silent except for the birds and the perking sounds made by the coffee pot.

Walking into my kitchen bathed in morning sunlight, the window is still open from last night and the scent of sweet jasmine is wafting in. I pour myself some organic coffee in the mug that Maria gave me many Christmases ago and walk out the back door onto the sunny stoop with my pets. I watch my pets wander through the garden, butterflies land on flowers, the sun warms my bare legs, the caffeine lifts me and ideas for the day start flowing.

I’ll plant something today. Mom will come over for lunch and we’ll talk for a couple hours about life and stuff. Later I’ll take Maria shopping and we’ll buy whatever we damn well please, because we can. Andy will bring Christie and the 4 of us will meet somewhere nice for dinner and drinks, maybe overlooking the ocean.

All the while I feel so blessed to have found exactly what I’ve been looking for, and I love every moment of my life.

You can see why I didn’t want to come back home after that walk. The fantasy was so real at one point that it brought tears to my eyes. That’s when I knew I was on my way to achieve what I had set out to do. It had felt so good in every sensual and spiritual way to dream that dream. I must go there again, and often. That magical place, my sacred space.