family dreams

One of the things that worried me during my marriage was that my 2 daughters would view their parents' relationship as a normal marriage. This saddened me greatly (among other things). I dreaded the possibility that they would seek a marriage just like ours for themselves, one with so little love, affection and interaction.

So naturally, when I left their dad, I had dreams of a new relationship in which my daughters would witness love and respect between a man and woman. I specifically wanted them to see a man adore me and treat me in a loving way. I knew I would have no trouble showing affection as long as I felt loved. As they were young teenagers then, I figured the timing was vital because they would soon be sizing up partners of their own.

Inasmuch as I knew I would have a loving relationship (and I've been blessed enough to be in my 3rd one post-marriage), it hasn't been till now that I could see a man blending into my family. Although Rob has been loving and supportive over the last 4 years, he has kept his distance from my girls for various reasons, and they have never embraced him. Maria outright dislikes him through no fault of his own. Christie is indifferent towards Rob.

Andy entered our lives a year ago. In October 09 we started skyping and it was then that Christie was introduced to Andy and caught a glimpse of Mom's new relationship. She liked Andy because he is as zany as she is. He's funny, he burps loud (like us) and he knows some famous people. What more could a teenager ask for? Plus Christie noticed how much I laughed when I would talk to him. Maria had already moved to her dad's, so she didn't know much about Andy until he visited here in January.

It was then that it hit me. Andy stayed in our house for 4 days. It was the most comfortable, natural thing. It felt like he belonged. He was so great with Christie, and with my dog, as if he already lived here. When I saw him in the livingroom with Christie just talking and hanging out, I felt like we were a family. I was moved.

When I booked the trip to LA, and asked if I could bring Christie along to see if she liked it, he didn't hesitate to say yes. What man would do that?! He knows she's a great kid, but still, this was to be our vacation time and he has a one bedroom apartment.

So the time comes after much waiting. Christie and I make the trip to LA, our first time across the big US of A. We land at LAX and manage to find our way to the pick up area. Taking the final descent on the escalator, first I see a pair of feet I recognize, then legs, then 2 bouquets in brown wrap. It's Andy and he's brought flowers for Christie and for me. How thoughtful is that...

The whole week he looked after me and my daughter. Made sure she was comfortable and had everything she needed. He cooked special stuff for her and wouldn't even let her help with dishes. I think he spoiled her a bit, but I let him. He won huge points with me and warmed my heart immensely.

Andy won Christie over as well. By day 2 she wanted to move to LA. After an outing with Andy's 17-yr old son Angelo, she said she'd never look at the boys back home the same way again. He'd made quite an impression on her. She climbed into the car with us and declared that Angelo was now her brother so Andy and I better get married! When I hollered I love you to Andy from across the room, she said me too! She hugged Andy several times during the trip, and especially when we said goodbye at the airport.

It's falling into place nicely. We love Andy and Andy loves us. Nice to see my family dreams coming true at last.