OK, don't get me wrong. I'm very happy with the recent turn of events in my life. I'm thankful to have finally attained clarity in my love life and set my future in motion, and I have new changes to look forward to. All that's good. In fact, it's GREAT.
One of the consequences of choosing this new direction in my life is that I've lost my best friend Rob. Yeah, he was my lover too, but the part I miss most is the friendship. Having someone to bounce the daily shit off of, someone to hang out with, drink with, go places with--not that we went many places, but still...!
The craziness of my busy life while juggling 2 guys, a full time job, house, daughter and dog on my own left me no time for girlfriends. So, that option's out, at least right now. Besides, girls just aren't as interesting as guys. So every single night in the last 3 weeks has been spent studying my new online course, and skyping with Andy.
I love Andy dearly, and I'm stimulated by learning cool new stuff, but it's too much of a good thing. I'm lacking variety and experiences. I haven't been anywhere of a fun nature in weeks. Partly cuz I'm way over budget this month (post-vacation credit card to be paid), but also cuz I have no one to go places with.
Waa waa I sound like a baby.
I've decided to go see Wall Street II this weekend, even if means going alone. And I am going to visit my mom and sister. I feel better about making these plans. But what's really bugging me is that I miss my best friend and that he ignored my last email. I don't really know what to do about that. It bothers me not knowing what he's thinking or feeling. I guess this is what breaking up feels like. Yeah, it sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment