At 17, Maria thinks back on her childhood as a happy time. As if we were the perfect family of 4 with the big house in a nice neighborhood, a Mom who baked cookies, dancing lessons, family dog, loving grandparents and all. Although I tried to convince myself of this picture perfect life as long as I could, underneath it was a sham. I was a mother and nothing else. My husband was never happy. I felt like he didn't like us. I was lonely, especially when my husband was home. How sad is that??And after 18 years of living in an emotionally vacant marriage, I called a spade a spade. I was the one who finally proclaimed it was over. We'd tried counselling 2 times then he said he didn't want to go anymore. I tried to plan a marriage retreat hoping it would inspire us to want to know each other, and start over, but he said it cost too much. It was $500.
I just couldn't do it anymore. I was getting depressed. It was finally Jeff's own sister who convinced me I needed to get out and find love. Life's too short she said. His sister and his mother both knew I was leaving him before he did. Anyone who's been there is probably not surprised by that statement because they know that communication ceases long before the marriage does.
The night I told Maria that her dad and I were separating, she cried the entire night until morning. Her devastation came as a bit of a surprise to me. Little did I know that I had just "ruined her life" and the heartache (as well as the joy) that would follow in the next 3 years.
