brilliant ways to die

I heard about Corey Haim's death caused by years of drug abuse. It got me to thinking if you had to die from an excess of something you love, what would that be?

I should mention that this idea occurred to me as I was shoving a Fudgee-O in my mouth. And I realized how much more I enjoy that chocolaty experience the faster I eat them. Fudgee-Os are not to be savored slowly. I find I really need to feel the sensation of them completely filling my mouth and chomping down on masses of fudgey substance all at once. BTW Oreos work just as well.

Which brings me to another pleasant way to go...if I must. I wouldn't mind suffocating on a big, beautiful cock. To bring intense pleasure to the man (men) I love just might be worth giving up breathing altogether.

Sex. Yeah, that's the ultimate way to go. Like in the middle of an intense orgasm. Or in that blissful nebulous state afterwards. Maybe because we're so close to God in those heavenly moments, that it feels like a safe, somewhat lateral move to just go with Him.

4 days later

...and I'm still filled with inspiration. I feel like God's sent a message loud and clear.

Monday morning I was overcome with emotion in the shower. Ideas were bursting forth, beautiful ideas for this creative collaboration that Andy and I agreed to. The tears came and I welcomed them. A powerful energy seemed to come over me which I gladly embraced. Things like this don't happen in the absence of God.

I wasn't completely clear what the divine message was. I knew it wanted me to follow the energy. But which energy? My own creative energy? Andy's? Our combined energy? I wonder how much of this feeling has to do with who he is, what he does, or how he feels about me. Is this about me or is it about us? Or none of the above?