OK. A friggin month went by and I finally got the nerve to bring up the safe sex topic with Andy. A shot of whiskey helped. What the frig is wrong with me?
I think it may have been just as awkward for Andy because he hardly said anything when I brushed on the topic. Maybe it was because he was munching the largest fuji apple in the world at the time. Or maybe it was cuz he felt as weird as I did. Maybe he's as chicken as I am to discuss the hard issues!
As we disconnected from our Skype conversation last night I could have kicked myself for not tackling this head on. I had planned it all in my mind. I had planned to say I was scared to approach the topic for fear of insulting him or that he would change his mind about coming for a visit. And I was going to tell him about my own issue. I was going to be compassionate and really mature about the whole thing, like a big girl should!
But I left it way too open-ended. I didn't state my request other than saying I would like some reassurance that everything's safe when we have sex. What I really wanted was for him to get checked for a few specific major diseases (and show me proof), but instead I let him off with a Sure, I'll go to the doctor before I come see you.
And by the way he is looking at flights for January, so I need to get my shit together!
No comments:
Post a Comment