the power of family opinion

I am a pretty independent person in almost every way. Sure, I can't change a flat tire or cook a turkey, but I'm sure I could learn (if I cared to). My friends, family, coworkers, Andy and Rob all see me as a very independent woman.

Something I realized lately is that my family's opinion holds a lot of power when it comes to making personal decisions--in particular, who I am with. No one realizes this but me, and I guess I would like to keep it that way. Apparently I like the fact that everyone sees me as kind of a self-sufficient entity.

My sister is probably the biggest influence. I noticed that her opinion over the last couple years has caused me to rethink earlier decisions and change my path.

At a house party I threw a few years back, she was enthralled with one of my male guests and suggested I should go out with him. It was someone who I knew had been attracted to me and had even asked me out a couple times when I was involved with Rob, so I'd repeatedly fended him off. But a few weeks after Lynn had 'endorsed' him, I started to pull away from Rob and eventually began dating this guy. Needless to say it didn't quite work out, but I did have a lot of fun with him. He ended up getting engaged to someone else when I wouldn't move full speed ahead.

The next time Lynn's influence triggered a change was early last summer. Granted, things were already in a state of disappointment with Rob, but her comments were the clincher. We were out at a concert together and talking about my relationship with Rob. She said something like He's nice, but I just see you with someone taller, more exciting. A bit of an ouchie statement at the time, but it stayed with me.

Lynn was also the one to suggest Andy as a friend when I joined Facebook in June. I never would have guessed that my sister (who has trouble running her own life) has so much influence over mine.

My mother, too, has shared her vision with me--she dreams of me with someone tall, dark and handsome who owns a winery or some other exciting business. I have kind of laughed this off over the last few years, but there is some validity to what she has suggested. I have discovered that I am seeking someone who is entrepreneurial and successful. Not that Rob isn't successful. But it's the leadership quality that I seem to desire.

Christie, my 14 year old daughter, also holds a lot of power. Every time she has commented on whether or not she likes a certain man in my life, I notice that my feelings towards him are swayed in one direction or another. Currently she is very fond of Andy and keeps asking me when he is coming to visit. I have never seen her that enthusiastic towards one of my male interests.

All this makes me wonder who is paving my path, my family or me? And why is their opinion so important to me?