I sat next to Annie at the club where we were watching this great cover band do some of my favorite tunes--and some not-so-favorites. But I swear they even made the very tired 'Stairway To Heaven' sound alive again.
Our friendship first ramped up about 6 weeks ago when we decided to have a celebratory drink before I moved. Since that first night out where we got drunk and Annie confessed that she wants out of her marriage, she seems to have glommed onto me. Her story is eerily familiar: married about 19 years, kids now practically grown, workaholic husband who has lost himself, his lust for life and for her, and now they don't know how to dig themselves out of the hole created by years of a routine existence.
On the outside they're the picture of perfection--fancy house, fancy toys, over-achieving kids, nice looking couple (well, that's an understatement when it comes to Annie), the dog, the bank account etc. But inside they're dying. She recognizes it and sees a way out. He is hanging on for dear life, but doing nothing to change any of it. In my mind it's over because she says it is.
This was my story, almost verbatim. So she KNOWS I understand. And she trusts me. I broke through it all successfully, and now I am about to embark on a pretty incredible adventure. Annie wants to feel that too. Since I am the only one she has shared those feelings with, she has been all over me lately. And with added desperation because I am moving away.
She wants to go out drinking like every weekend. It's been sweet. I have helped her where I can, and have certainly given her hope for her future. But she doesn't really need my help. I have no doubt she will come through this and find the joy she seeks. She is a smart cookie who knows exactly what she wants and needs.
What I have found most distracting in the meantime is that she is so SO beautiful. I have always admired her beauty since I first met her about 15 years ago, but she is still utterly stunning today at 45+. Hanging out drinking and talking I sometimes find myself totally distracted by her looks and her sweetness. I mean I became very aware of my attraction to her as she was talking to me. I think with a couple drinks I could easily cross the line into a sexual experience with her. I can imagine myself appreciating every inch of her femininity.
How weird is that (to admit)?! And then my thoughts go even further into imagining her visiting Andy and me in LA, staying with us, and sharing our bed. Holy cow, he would be...well...overwhelmed. I think I could love her body and mind and soul. She would make it damn easy to be bisexual.
I have never been with a woman, and have only felt a mild attraction to a woman once before. But I'll tell ya, sitting next to her in a bar with good music and a couple drinks in us, I was tempted to say something. Then I thought of my responsibility to her as a friend, and was aware of her vulnerability. I did what I think was the wise thing, and left this all in fantasyland.
Which isn't to say that I won't bring the fantasy into the bedroom. I think Andy might enjoy that almost as much as the real thing.
Our friendship first ramped up about 6 weeks ago when we decided to have a celebratory drink before I moved. Since that first night out where we got drunk and Annie confessed that she wants out of her marriage, she seems to have glommed onto me. Her story is eerily familiar: married about 19 years, kids now practically grown, workaholic husband who has lost himself, his lust for life and for her, and now they don't know how to dig themselves out of the hole created by years of a routine existence.
On the outside they're the picture of perfection--fancy house, fancy toys, over-achieving kids, nice looking couple (well, that's an understatement when it comes to Annie), the dog, the bank account etc. But inside they're dying. She recognizes it and sees a way out. He is hanging on for dear life, but doing nothing to change any of it. In my mind it's over because she says it is.
This was my story, almost verbatim. So she KNOWS I understand. And she trusts me. I broke through it all successfully, and now I am about to embark on a pretty incredible adventure. Annie wants to feel that too. Since I am the only one she has shared those feelings with, she has been all over me lately. And with added desperation because I am moving away.
She wants to go out drinking like every weekend. It's been sweet. I have helped her where I can, and have certainly given her hope for her future. But she doesn't really need my help. I have no doubt she will come through this and find the joy she seeks. She is a smart cookie who knows exactly what she wants and needs.
What I have found most distracting in the meantime is that she is so SO beautiful. I have always admired her beauty since I first met her about 15 years ago, but she is still utterly stunning today at 45+. Hanging out drinking and talking I sometimes find myself totally distracted by her looks and her sweetness. I mean I became very aware of my attraction to her as she was talking to me. I think with a couple drinks I could easily cross the line into a sexual experience with her. I can imagine myself appreciating every inch of her femininity.
How weird is that (to admit)?! And then my thoughts go even further into imagining her visiting Andy and me in LA, staying with us, and sharing our bed. Holy cow, he would be...well...overwhelmed. I think I could love her body and mind and soul. She would make it damn easy to be bisexual.
I have never been with a woman, and have only felt a mild attraction to a woman once before. But I'll tell ya, sitting next to her in a bar with good music and a couple drinks in us, I was tempted to say something. Then I thought of my responsibility to her as a friend, and was aware of her vulnerability. I did what I think was the wise thing, and left this all in fantasyland.
Which isn't to say that I won't bring the fantasy into the bedroom. I think Andy might enjoy that almost as much as the real thing.
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