the joy of giving

When you're sorting through your shit preparing to move, you have to seriously consider what's worth paying $1/lb to ship across the country.

Although I scored a small fortune on the sale of my house I'm still frugal at heart. But I'm not frugal with my heart. Oddly enough this shipping dilemma has led to a new kind of joy. The joy of giving.

There are certain things I own that have great sentimental value, but seriously, I knew they would not belong in my new life or our new apartment. I did not want to sell these things to strangers or donate them to Goodwill. I wanted to choose a new home for them.

My rocking chair was hard to part with. This was the chair I sat in endless hours as I nursed Christie as a baby. It squeaked a lot and it wasn't very pretty, but it holds such sweet memories. Like the dents left in the side of Christie's little head, caused by the wooden arms her head rested against as I cradled and breastfed her. She was so in her glory nursing, that she ignored the pain on her head and was left with little indents after her feeding. And in that chair I used to sing Elton John songs to her until she fell asleep. Daniel was her favorite.

It was hard to let that rocker go, but one of my friends has a niece who just had a baby. They don't have a lot of money, so I thought this would help. Plus I wanted to give it to someone I knew or someone I had even a distant trail to. Dunno, makes me feel better.

Then there was a piece of art I purchased when I moved into my house 4 years ago. Nymph of the River by Frederic Leighton. A demure young nymph stands at the edge of a river curious, about to dip her toes into the water. I loved this print and it hung across from my bed for the last 4 years. To me it symbolized my newly rediscovered sexuality. I embraced all it stood for and it watched over me as I became a sex goddess again, or so I was told.

Although I still love the piece, it would have been a real misfit among Andy's art collection in our new apartment. I also felt it would be a source of inspiration to my friend Annie who is standing at the same crossroads I was at 5 years ago. She's teetering on the edge of freedom with a renewed passion for living. I fully support her and to give her this print was a symbol of my friendship, love and support.

The real joy was in the fact that she loved it and understood my intent completely. The nymph has found a new home. I feel good and soon Annie will too.