the meeting

I'm glad I didn't call him a dickhead after all. Jeff, my ex, behaved himself yesterday when Christie and I went to meet him.

It was the first time in about 3 years that he has even set eyes on me. Pretty astounding that the 3 of us sat at a table and had a productive conversation. We talked about Christie and me moving to Los Angeles. He didn't bark, he didn't bite. Only one small snarl, when he spoke the word 'boyfriend' (referring to Andy).

I feel good about the way I handled myself. I started and ended the conversation, and got all my points covered. I supported Christie as she needed so that she could express herself in front of a dad she's pretty intimidated by. He now knows that she wants to move to LA and there's nothing he can do to convince her otherwise.

He has agreed to provide me with a notarized letter giving his permission. Of course, he wants my assurance that I won't ask him for child support once I'm there. Why would I, after having managed the last 2 years without it? I am proud of the fact that I can support her on my own.

We also talked about Maria. He said she is very hard to handle at times., and very hard on him. But he feels he is one of the only people who has any control over her. It could be that he can still yell louder than she can. Or it might be because he bought her the car she is driving.

I told him that I feel bad that I can't reach Maria, but I am very proud of her accomplishments. She's doing very well in university while holding down a part time job. He said he would tell her that I am proud of her. For that I am also thankful.

Before he left, we all agreed that Christie would spend some time living at his house during the month of June--as long as she is comfortable there. She can spend the remainder of the time with me, her best friend's family, or with other family members. But come mid-July she is getting on a plane for LA where she will live with me, and Andy. :)