holy shit!

After an unusually long hiatus (it felt long for me) I thought I'd take a stab at blogging again. HELLO!

What's new? Let's see...I saw a real live rat walking across my deck the other day. That was a holy shit moment. I have never before seen a rat in my (upscale) town. Must be the excessive rain that has driven it out into the open. A big ewwwww!

Chistie has a boyfriend and he's cute. I was telling Andy about the night he first came over and I got to meet him. I mentioned that he was almost as cute as Christie's last boyfriend and Andy gave him the name Scotty Too Hottie. Three weeks later he still refers to the kid by that name. Did I mention that Andy's very funny?

I bleached my hair. It's a bit too Hollywood blonde for me. I get compliments, mostly from guys, and I've noticed some odd changes in people's behavior towards me. They now ask me for money or ask me strange questions (such as what's that hanging from your rearview mirror? can i see it? where did you get it?).

Maybe that 'dumb blonde' perception is really true. People think I'm more gullible all of a sudden. This has been an interesting experiment, but I think I won't be so blonde after my next hair appt. Not so much for the reasons above, but because that shit is horrible on my scalp and has left me itchy all the way down to the middle of my body. Very weird. And kind of scary to accept that I've subjected myself to some chemical reaction. Ewwwww!

This next item is pretty embarrassing to confess, you see only my doctor and you will know. I didn't tell ANYONE else. You see, since I am soon leaving the country of glorious free health care, I have decided to make sure I am in good health before I go.

Part of this task for people *my age* involves checking for cancer in certain dark places. Luckily one can conduct these tests in the privacy of their own homes (bathrooms to be more specific), and very conveniently just hand the nurse/receptionist the neat little SEALED ENVELOPE with the hazardous bodily material contained within.

So really all I wanted to say about that procedure is that it is friggin WEIRD to collect your poo in a container and proceed to dab what looks like a stir stick for your coffee into it and then spread it on a blotter at a time of the morning when you'll soon be spreading your jam onto your toast. That was the biggest ewwwww of all.

Butt...pun intended...it was all worth it. Doctor says all is well in that department. Thankfully no more poo collecting for awhile.