It was a beautiful day, and because there haven't been many of those, I made a point of planning a walk after dinner. I called Rob to see if he wanted to join me.
We met on the street between our two streets. He was wearing one of those skin tight shirts that athletes wear and I swear his pecs were bigger than my boobs. Anyway, he looked really good in it. He's been working hard for it mountain biking and going to the gym. Good for him.
We had what I thought was a short walk and ended up at his house for a drink. He also wanted to show me his gardens. He'd finally done the beds with some plants and a nice dark mulch, and I almost gasped when I saw it. It looked so awesome after a couple years of nothing but weeds there.
We went inside and while he was pouring us whiskey, I strolled onto his deck. At my first glimpse of the green wonderland that is his backyard, and the huge deck (I said deck) which I helped build, and the flowering dogwood that seems to glow in the dark, I was overcome with emotion.
This place held so many memories, good ones. No, great ones! All those conversations on the worn old adirondack chairs. How many cups of tea and glasses of whiskey were drunk here? We'd even sat naked on those chairs more than a couple times and soaked up the sun.
All those bits of memory flashed before me and I knew that I would miss this place very much. A part of me already misses the sweetness of those times. I always knew I could count on a big dose of TLC when I was with Rob. He has always been comfort to me. Still is.
I realize that I have chosen other things for myself and I am still confident that I am doing what I need and want to do. But that's not to say that it doesn't come without a price. There will be days, I am sure, when I have to close my eyes and bring back those memories for whatever reason. In times when I feel lost or hurt or sick, I may turn to memories even if it's not the appropriate thing to do. It is what I do.
I have fond memories of all my times with Rob. And I want to keep them close to my heart. As if they could ever leave.
We met on the street between our two streets. He was wearing one of those skin tight shirts that athletes wear and I swear his pecs were bigger than my boobs. Anyway, he looked really good in it. He's been working hard for it mountain biking and going to the gym. Good for him.
We had what I thought was a short walk and ended up at his house for a drink. He also wanted to show me his gardens. He'd finally done the beds with some plants and a nice dark mulch, and I almost gasped when I saw it. It looked so awesome after a couple years of nothing but weeds there.
We went inside and while he was pouring us whiskey, I strolled onto his deck. At my first glimpse of the green wonderland that is his backyard, and the huge deck (I said deck) which I helped build, and the flowering dogwood that seems to glow in the dark, I was overcome with emotion.
This place held so many memories, good ones. No, great ones! All those conversations on the worn old adirondack chairs. How many cups of tea and glasses of whiskey were drunk here? We'd even sat naked on those chairs more than a couple times and soaked up the sun.
All those bits of memory flashed before me and I knew that I would miss this place very much. A part of me already misses the sweetness of those times. I always knew I could count on a big dose of TLC when I was with Rob. He has always been comfort to me. Still is.
I realize that I have chosen other things for myself and I am still confident that I am doing what I need and want to do. But that's not to say that it doesn't come without a price. There will be days, I am sure, when I have to close my eyes and bring back those memories for whatever reason. In times when I feel lost or hurt or sick, I may turn to memories even if it's not the appropriate thing to do. It is what I do.
I have fond memories of all my times with Rob. And I want to keep them close to my heart. As if they could ever leave.
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