Both my daughters have boyfriends and I'm cool with that. Maria is 17 and Christie is 13. Frankly, this house runs a lot smoother when everyone has a man (or boy!) to smile about. Skews the hormones from major attitude to happiness which is a big relief in a house of 3 women. We also go through a helluva lot of toilet paper, but that's another story.
Rob's daughter Jennifer is 14 and has had boyfriend adventures for a couple years now, so we often compare notes. We also tease each other about what these young ladies are doing with their boyfriends. I've never fretted over Maria's relationships because we've talked openly about sex since she was a wee one. I never overreact to what she tells me, nor do I condemn her for her actions, because they really have been responsible.
But it was only recently that my baby Christie started referring to her boyfriend as buff, hot, and mentioned how they stare into each others' eyes. O...K...
When I related this to Rob he laughed at me and said, well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? Was this supposed to make me feel better? Considering I was only a year older than she is now when I lost my virginity, I have some concerns. Also because Christie and I are like 2 peas in a pod. She looks like me, acts like I did at that age (and a little even now), and has some of the same weaknesses as I did/do. So what's a mama to do?
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3 comments:
My advice would be to be just as open and expressive with your younger daughter as you were with your older daughter and explain the difference between physical desire as a youth and emotional desire as an adult.
Of course, it sounds like that's pretty much what you do now. The question you should really ask is if you are ashamed of the fact that you were 14 when you lost your virginity and if this would be something you would be ashamed of if your daughter experienced the same sort of situation.
Perhaps encouraging her to value her physical body by waiting until she has a real emotional investment (as opposed to puppy love) might do the trick. Or perhaps she'll do what she wants anyways and this would all be a pointless exchange. lol (we all know, young girls will find ways to do the things they want regardless of what adults say!) :)
Very interesting blog, although I'm pretty sure that I'll have to read most of it at home instead of at work! :) Take care.
Hey, thanks for the thoughts. I'd talk to my daughter more if she'd hold still long enough! At 13 she's kind of hyper and on the go, or hiding underneath earbuds or mesmerized by her 10 simultaneous msn chats. For the record, I'm not ashamed of losing my virginity at 14, only what a loser the guy turned out to be. So that is the wisdom I shall try to pass onto her when she shows any interest at all in hearing it from me.
Well, that's pretty much all you can do. :) I look forward to hearing about how that goes.
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