The May/June visit with Andy is now over. I spent the first 9 days straight with him, then had 5 off while he visited his family and I worked, and we spent the last 3 days together.
It seems like we had a lot of time together. A lot happened. My feelings went one way, and then another. I learned what I liked and didn't like. I learned some things about myself too. Therefore it was good. No, it was great. I got exactly what I had asked for...knowledge.
Things I'm sure of:
~ Andy is a very good person with honorable intentions
~ Andy and I both fit very well into each other's family
~ Andy loves me more than I love him, but I do love him
~ Andy has a weakness for food that I am uncomfortable with
~ I need to relax about some stuff
~ I enjoy being adored by him
~ Andy has a knack for getting very dirty with me...and I like it
Things I still need to figure out:
~ If I can be happy living without Rob in my physical world
~ If I'll feel financially secure with Andy
~ What it's like to live in Andy's world (and apartment)
~ If our sex life will be satisfying to me on a longterm basis
~ Who I want to be with
~ Do I really want to be married?
~ Why my feelings keep changing
I am looking forward to the next big step--going to Andy's home in LA in August. This should make things much clearer IF they're not in Andy's favor, and much harder a decision if all goes well. Is this crazy?
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