fight or flight

Turns out Andy wasn't upset with me at all (sigh of relief). He was fretting about work, or lack of it, and probably had bills piling up, and was feeling like his well of ideas had run dry.

However, the next day he had a meeting with a PR agency who was thrilled with his work and asked for many paintings to hang on its office walls. She wondered why he wasn't already rolling in dough and she assured him it would happen soon. Especially when her other clients (celebrities) came to the office and saw his work.

Then the following day Andy met with the owner of the high end clothing/home decor store where his work is on display. She loved the new work he brought in. She suggested he raise the price on all the new pieces and increase the % he gets. She was bursting with new ideas to promote him. So that, combined with the new PR chick telling him he was going to be rich really turned his mood around.

What I discovered about this experience is that Andy is a lot like me. We are usually feeling pretty good about ourselves, but when we take a dip, we are truly sunk until someone else's recognition of our talent/skill/worthiness pulls us out. It's not right, but we both need some validation by others to feel good about ourselves. I'd like to think I know better than to depend on others' opinions of me, but frankly, I still do.

We also both withdraw in times of trouble, and tend to live in our heads instead of talking about it with someone. The main problem with that is that we each overthink an issue and make it bigger and more intense than it really is.

This is a bad habit. The fact that we are both like this is going to be challenging, especially when the problem is in the relationship. Neither of us is much of a fighter, and maybe we both run a little scared, and are a bit oversensitive so we avoid conflict. (I know I do!)

That's one good reason that Rob has been good for me. He doesn't sit on anything for long. And he doesn't let me either! When he recognizes something's wrong he talks about it right away. He hands me a glass of whiskey and sits me down and pulls it all out. You laugh, but it works!