to beagle or not to beagle

Pets. You can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em.

I love my dog, but he also is a major pain in the butt. I became the reluctant owner of this runt beagle almost 9 years ago when my now 'ex' decided we needed a family dog. He did this mostly to become a hero in the eyes of our daughters, despite the fact that the one who would end up being the main caretaker (me) didn't want to take on that commitment. I knew that it would be tantamount to having another kid.

But I soon fell in love with the little rascal and took my very best care of him, as I did with my own children. And, as I expected, I was the one who fed him, walked him, cleaned up after him, and rescued him in the middle of the night when he barked so terrified of the thunder. I also protected him from the wrath of my ex who had no patience for humane training, preferring to hit the poor thing and scream at him in his own frustration. (No wonder I left him.)

When the ex and I split, we decided to share the dog just as we shared the kids. And for the first year or so that worked. Then my ex lost his job and had to sell his house. He moved to a place where he could not have a dog, so guess who got to take over full responsibility? Right. Not only did I inherit the entire burden of time and effort to take care of the dog, but the cost as well. Vet check ups, special food, and an $800 dental surgery that I just finished paying for. Oh yeah, so fair. But I'm thinking of the welfare of the dog and the poor little guy didn't ask for any of this!

As much of a burden that this whole situation is on me, this little runt is the most loyal, easy going, cutest and sweetest beagle you could ever know. He follows me everywhere (endearing and annoying at the same time) and sleeps at my feet or in the crook of my legs as I lay on my side. He has a great disposition and is dearly loved by the girls, and me.

He is absolutely and hopelessly dependent on me....to the point that he is very anxious when he is left alone after dark. When I have left him alone he races through the house working himself into a panic, barking incessantly. This has been a real problem since May as I have received notes from my neighbor that the noise is disturbing them.

I've talked to my vet, tried retraining my dog in obedience and being quiet. I even bought a crate and started getting him used to that. And I've had a lot of success, but not enough. Last weekend I had a fight with the neighbor who left me a very nasty note which really pissed me off. And he threatened to take the matter to the police next. I've already received 2 notices from the town bylaw officer, so I am seeing the writitng on the wall. The dog's got to go.

It really sucks. I admit I am kind of exhausted caring for this pup, and I know I will not be able to take him when I move next year, so it does make sense to find a new home for him. But I suffer from mother guilt. Both as 'mother' of this little dog, and towards my daughters who will have to deal with losing their pet. Ouch.

I look at his sad beagle eyes and know that he is so dependent on me. Can anyone else take care of him the way that he needs? Will they treat him with loving care or beat him into submission like my ex did? I do worry about him. But most of all I worry about what my dog will think about me. I think this thought and it hurts deep in my gut. Will he feel that I have abandoned him?