dirty dreaming

The last few nights I've had dreams about old boyfriends. In the first dream I was waking up in bed with Cam, feeling amorous. I wanted to love him and please him, so I found myself going under the covers, working my way down to taste various hot body parts. I distinctly remember my cheek brushing against his inner thigh and reaching to touch his knee...?

The next night I dreamed of Peter, who hasn't been mentioned in this blog until now. (I dated Peter for 3 years from age 17-20. He was a very sexual person, and we tried just about every sexual adventure possible together. He used to sing to me too, he had a very good voice. Unfortunately he drank too much and one day I decided I'd had enough.) Anyhow....all I remember about that dream was his big dick in my face waiting for gratification. Pleasant enough.

Then last night I dreamed about Cam again. This time, I was sitting in a bar (at the end of the bar) and Cam appeared as the bartender. He was also famous in some regard and people were recognizing him and making comments, trying to get his attention. He saw me at the end of the bar and gave me that look, that flirtatious look that always melted me. He acknowledged me as if he'd be over to talk to me as soon as he could. I hollered back, OK Love, only to see his new girlfriend show up. My words had caught her by surprise and she looked over at me wondering who this woman was addressing her man as "Love".

Next thing I knew I was sitting at a table across from her. I was sort of interviewing her, getting to know her, as if I needed to know just who was taking my spot with the man I loved, but couldn't have. In my dream, as in my reality, I knew I had to give him up to her.

I awoke sad, but with peaceful acceptance. The feeling lasted most of the day. That is, until Rob came over and held me, for hours, just because he wanted to.